6:40 a.m. - 2002-11-02
Shoebag
Hey, guys...sorry for not updating; I know so many of you care. Honestly, I haven't really felt up to the task of sharing odd tidbits of nothingness or feeding my humorless wit to the multitudes in a vain attempt to amuse some generic stranger...hehehe, that's a good sentence, isn't it, though? I just wrote an essay; some of my nad skillz occasionally emerge around essay time...anyway, this has been a pretty depressing week; too much died. I hate dying. I found a butterfly on the pavement today; it wasn't dead, but it wasn't really acting like it was going to be alive much longer, so I carried it to a big red flower thing in front of the dorm next door...see, the way I figure it, if I were a butterfly, I wouldn't want to die on the pebbly, cold pavement amid frigid automobiles and the reek of gasoline....I wouldn't want to die like that, anyway, and I'm NOT a butterfly. Earlier, I found a cockroach or some close cousin of one downstairs; I think it had been partially smushed and was dying...I felt so bad for it. You could tell how much pain it was in, and how desperate it was to continue to live, despite the obviously pathetic quality of life it had to endure....this is why I have so much trouble killing things; I just can't do it. I KNOW it's a cockroach, but it isn't doing nearly as much harm to you as your kind is doing to something else...you just get one life, you know? That's IT, and then you die. I guess I don't like the thought of taking that for granted.

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