11:10 p.m. - 2002-12-12
Paranoia...?
"He waits until she's nearly asleep, then whispers the words he'd been waiting to repeat all day, the words he'd said only a few years ago that day...the words that had made everything fall into place, until THEY came along...the heathenish, sinful brainwashers that had stolen her from him. But no matter. In a few hours, she would be his again. Her eyelids flutter sleepily and she sighs deeply as she approaches the brink of sleep. Now. Now was the time. Now was the moment to ask her the question she could only respond to favorably when she was in the very beginnings of deep slumber.

'Violet?'

'Mmmm?'

'Are you asleep?'

'Mmm hmmmm...'

'Did you have fun today?'

'Mmmm...'

'Are you happy you got to see your babies?'

'Mmmmhmmm...'

'Violet?'

'mmmm...'

'Will you marry me?'

'mmmm....'

It was all the answer he needed. Stealthily, he slipped the banded diamond onto her ring finger and silently crept away.

***************************************

Violet awoke groggily the next morning and stretched wearily. She hadn't slept well at all that night; she kept having the oddest dreams, something about Ed and getting engaged again...oh, well. It was just a bad dream. She rubbed her eyes sleepily and was startled when something cold and sharp poked her in her forehead. Puzzled, she squinted at the object she now wore around her finger....it couldn't be...but...the engagement ring he'd given her in high school was wrapped around her finger. Just then, Ed himself came in, bearing a tray with a bowl of Frosted Flakes and a glass of chocolate milk.

"Good morning, baby? Did you sleep well?"

"Baby?! Don't call me that....Ed, why am I wearing this?" Violet stuck out the hand adorned with the offensive jewelry accusingly. Ed gazed at it quizzically, then at Violet.

'What do you mean, why are you wearing it? We're engaged, sweetie.'

'No. We're not.' Impatiently, Violet tore the ring off and attempted to hand it to Ed. Ed set the tray aside, took the ring, then perched on the side of the bed. He reached for Violet's hand, then gently began to replace the ring. Violet was temporarily too flabbergasted to respond...was she still dreaming?

'Violet, sweetie...did you have a bad dream? What's wrong?'

'Ed, what are you doing?'

'Putting your ring back on.'

'Ed, we're not engaged.' Violet was definitely feeling the beginnings of a headache coming on. Ed was acting very oddly...even more oddly than usual. She tore the ring back off in exasperation, then got off the bed and headed towards the bathroom.

'Baby...where are you going?'

'Uh...the bathroom? Is that okay?'

'Why?'

'To get dressed? I don't think that Buffy would want me to come to her house naked, do you?' Ed's face took on the most confused look Violet had ever seen.

'Buffy...who's Buffy?'

'Buffy!! You know...my roommate?'

'Roommate? Violet, I'm your roommate.'

'No, you idiot...at college.' Ed stared at Violet as if he thought she may have a few screws loose.

'Sweetie...what exactly did you dream about? You don't go to college.' Violet came back to the bed and stared at Ed, and, for the next two hours, Ed began to explain to her that everything she held dear in life..Buffy, Saffron, Ken, Al, her Dad, WooWoo...were only illusions her mind had created in the course of her slumber. Ed claimed that after their initial problems, he and Violet had worked things out and become reengaged; thus, she had left her apartment and moved in with him. Violet was understandably skeptical...she could recall all of her friends in vivid detail, and so, when he left her alone in order to wash the dishes, she bolted to the telephone in order to dial all of the numbers of the people she could remember loving so well...except there WAS no phone.

****************************************

Meanwhile, a missing person's report was filed by Violet's mother after Violet repeatedly failed to return any of her calls. The police first questioned Buffy, who related that she had last heard that Violet was with Saffron. At Saffron's house, Violet's husband explained that Violet was with Saffron and her fiance in Marietta, and added that she had once again failed to cook him breakfast. In Marietta, Dad's parents had no clue where their son, much less Violet or Saffron, where. And so the police continued to travel in circles for about a week.

****************************************

Buffy, believing all to be well, returned to college; however, after playing in the rain with Al three or four times, she began to realize that Violet wasn't returning. She attempted to phone Ed, but got no response. So she called Violet's baby's Daddy, Ken, who immediately rushed to the college in order to comfort their daughter Iris by beating her in the head a couple of times. Ken, Al, and Buffy called the WooWoo warrioress, Saffron, and Dad, who all determined that the worse had occurred---Ed had finally snapped and kidnapped Violet. After picking up all the trash left over from Ken and Al's resulting party, they all piled into Bunny Boy's VAN and rushed to Ed's...

****************************************

In the meantime, Ed had taken Violet for a brief outing; however, he had forgotton to sedate her as usual. While he was praying, Violet made a run for it out of Harmony Baptist church and headed for the nearest phone, where she attempted to call 911; unfortunately, the sedatives had altered her mind (or so we'd like to think) and she couldn't recall the number. Instead, she called Ms. Buffy, who was outraged when she found out what had happened and immediately hitched up the Puppy Passle to Buffy's car (which had died) and made for the po-lice station.

****************************************

Sadly enough, Ed discovered Violet's diabolical betrayal, and in a fit of rage, killed her on the spot by repeatedly beating her in the head with his handy-dandy Bible, convinced that he was saving her soul from the heathens that she had so foolishly befriended. He then contacted one of his EMT buddies, who claimed to have attempted to flobotomize the body of the "unidentified" girl after a "faceles" mugger had beaten her.

****************************************

Although Ed was covered by his cronies, SK-squared (plus the rest of Violet's family) were outraged by Ed's maliciousness and immediately tipped all 23 of Violet's enraged gerbils with poisonous claws. The Nade clan, led by Seamus and Rose, then tracked down the evildoer and made a quick end to him.

Later, Iris donated brain cells to revive the body of her slain mother. Violet was returned to the world of the living; nonetheless, her sudden lack of intelligence was later a topic of great interest from then on."

*************TheEnd*********************

P.S. You laugh now, but you guys better start looking for me if I don't call after the 16th!!!

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