4:17 p.m. - 2003-09-02
Hush Puppies
Today is mostly sky blue, but also a little gray, but then, all days are just a little gray. For those of you too stupid to understand Saranese, sky blue is a good thing. Depending on my mood, dark blue is also a good thing. Except when it's bad. I think my father started his job today, and guess what? The escort service came through, so I am no longer unemployed!! Tonight, I have a hot date with this widower named Mr. Jenkins; we're gonna go to Boneshakers and mix up a little somethin' somethin', if you know what I mean. Which I'm sure you don't. At any rate, this is part of what I've learned for today:

Apparently, the grasshoppers have decided to leave their happy little abodes and abide with the human critters, which they mistake for apple fritters....mmm, apple. Either that, or they are Vordox's spies finally caught on to me and stalking me in disguise. There were two discussing my underwear in Elements of Music today and eating a banana. I didn't even know grasshoppers liked bananas. I guess they think those are fritters as well.....mmmm, apple.

There is great weeping and mourning in the world as it begins to realize my aspirations of becoming a chorus teacher are in serious peril...is that how you spell peril, or is that actually some extinct kind of falcon? SO, out of the fifty million and eighteen other possibilities, I had it narrowed down to three really good ones...housewifery, if Mr. Jenkins wants a house mouse, dropping out, or acquiring a sex change. Sadly, there are numerous problems associated with each of these phenomenoms...the housewifery thing would require getting *egads* MARRIED, and who wants to do THAT?? Nobody seems to really support the whole "drop out" concept; who knows WHY....I have a nice little gum shack right off campus all picked out that I can fix up real pretty until Miks and Al get hitched. Now the sex change option has it's possibilities; I could give ol' Walter a real run for her money then...and finally, I would acquire the much-longed for penis!!! Yes, oh fans and junkies, that was the sound of my lofty aspirations shattering to the floor.

Speaking of junkies, Clay Aiken introduced us to John and Sue today. Everyone seemed to believe that John has a drug problem because of his consistantly low test scores, while I on the other hand am firmly convinced that Sue is indeed either hooked on heroin or a manic depressive, thus explaining her erratic grades. John, boringly enough, is just your every day, average slacker...something along the lines of your's truly. Which brings me to my second point...I just HAVE to be a teacher, because using names like "John" and "Sue" as examples are dull and unemotional. What's wrong with BearEater and Hupazya?

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