3:10 pm - 2003-09-24
Soap on a Rope
I was watching the leaves fall today. Man, I like watching leaves fall..I wonder if that's why this season is called "fall". I thought it was just 'cause the leaves made the ground all slippery and stuff, and then you fall, go BOOM. I was gonna change my major to become a falling leaf, but as it turns out, you can't make much money as a falling leaf, who'd have thunk it? And money doesn't grow on trees, you know, but then, neither would I if I were a falling leaf. But still, watching kamikaze leaves in their attempts to brain (HA! I SAID "BRAIN"!! And WHO doesn't have a brain?? THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!!! BOO-YAH!!!!!) defenseless ants, 'cause you KNOW that's why leaves fall, right? Well, it is. It's almost as cool as rain falling...did you know that if you mix up the letters in rain, you spell nair? And Nair SUCKS my nonexistant male genitalia, but not as much as Sally Henson, who I think is secretly a basketball star. Juwanna Sal...ya booty monster, shake that thang!! Speaking of Busty (if you take out the "t", that spells "busy") I gotta get busy banging Kim, 'cause this is our honeymoon, yo...that's right, ho's and hoettes, your's truly took the plunge and got all hitched like a pony this weekend. It was a casual affair with all the usual suspects, a maid of dishonor, a barely there officiant with no nickname and my DAD. Yah, and then it occurred to me that as much as I love gay people, the thought of them making whoopee produces a thin skin of revulsion directly beneath my genius...but then, so does the idea of making whoopee in general, unless it's with one of my two lovely wives. I dont' even want to do it with any of my husbands, which is good, 'cause I could get myself good and arrested for that one, and THEN where would I be?? Sniffing soap on a roap with a girl named Sam, THAT'S where, and all my loyal subjects would simply lose their minds...wait, I already ate those. HAHAHA! By the way, kidz, thanks for the poison and condoms. Hey, Raine, turn up your speaker, you monkey macking goobertard!!

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