10:35 p.m. - 2003-10-01
Tonight I'm Feeling Rather Full
Boys have decided to like me today...I think it's the hair. It has that "I just had the bestest time rolling around the sack and haven't bothered to comb it" look, and this apparently has them imagining just what I was doing in a sack to get my hair so mussed. Was I counting potatos, or perhaps sorting apples...hmm...speaking of such things, the Troll is commencing to making my crotch vibrate. Interesting. I wonder if that's contagious, or if it's like journalogrophy and can be cleared up with a few pills. Perhaps I should consult my local flabotomist...unless he's come down with an unfortunate case of journalism. What exactly is "porn", anyway? It rhymes with corn and involves naked people..why would it rhyme with corn? Do you think that ancient porn involved corncobs, and that's why it's called porn today? Wouldn't that chaffe a bit? The world is so full of unanswerable questions...but one thing is certain: in a contest of brain-eating, I am the reigning champion. Inbed, 16 is smaller than 24, but 54 is bigger than 28. I think it's time for some Tums.

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