4:37 p.m. - 2004-09-20
Updates from the Not-So Rich, but Famous
I celebrated Smell My Hand Day by accidentally killing my newest pair of gerbils an hour after I bought them. It was a flagrant show of my superior intelligence made even more so by the value of an education bestowed by FOC-U. My wife made me feel better by playing my wannabe baby daddy's song, "I Survived You". I think she's trying to tell me something. Meanwhile, my other wife is still pregnant with our twins, and has been for nearly two years now. She carries herself remarkably well for a gal that's nine months late. My other OTHER wife was abducted by aliens again; luckily, her blue friend CheekHop gave her a pill to restore her memory; she'll be updating me as it returns. My baby daddy (not to be mistaken for my wannabe baby daddy) spends most of his time with invisible jailbait at Wal-Mart...but don't tell anyone. Furthermore, I'm celebrating my burgeoning maturity by redecorating my diary in My Little Pony themes; however, I'm having trouble finding a template. If any of the magik cretans that read this has any suggestions or happen to know any of the tiny dwarves that make a living out of mining in my cave of wonders, please drop me a line or call Jenny: 867-5309.

Tune in next time for episodes of "As the Chicken Burns".

Love and mange.

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