11:18 a.m. - 2003-01-08
Oh, good grief
Yeah, so this is a lot to say in one day, even for me. Sorry guys, but I reached an epitome. (That means "realization", Ken, which means figuring out something you didn't know before. ;-) ) This realization was that, despite my belief that I didn't really love Ed, and that I stopped loving him in whatever way I DID love him, in reality, I stopped LIKING him. Read well, guys, this is important. I still love Ed...kinda...I guess I'll always love him, along with all of my other stupid little (and not so little) mistakes. But sometimes...maybe a LOT of the time...it's not how much you "love" someone that matters so much as how much you like them. As it turns out, I've learned a lot by coming to college after all, albeit indirectly, and one of the things that I've found is, contrary to popular belief, sometimes it's terribly easy to love someone...also, there's more than just one way to love a person; loving them doesn't necessarily mean that you want to marry them and have their babies. Sometimes, you love someone because you think that they need that, or because you're grateful to them for loving you, and every now and then, you love someone for no particular reason at all, except that it feels right. To me, loving someone is always a surprise...like when God gives you an extra quarter when you're washing clothes in the Nazi dorm. You can NEVER plan who the next, uh..."victim" is, whether it's the dork with Pikachu on his shirt, or the guy you met in a Christian chat room and discussed sexual uses of cheese whiz with, or the techno freak that pretends he's an elf every so often, or...you know, whatever. My point is, people, you have to keep LIKING them, too. You know? You don't want to get to the point where you want to kill them every time you're in the same room with them for more than ten minutes, 'cause once you love someone, it's ALWAYS there (no matter HOW much Lysol you use to try to kill it) but liking someone, just 'cause they make you laugh, or because you can just sit around watching movies with them without really saying much and not get uncomfortable, that can go away. SO, thanks to most of you retards, my big "secret" is out. That's right, Violet Nade is no longer assexual, but no fear; I'm sure it won't last long. Anyway, I wanted to let you guys know all that, even if it doesn't make any sense to you; maybe it will someday. Probly not, since I wrote it, but oh, well. It was worth a shot. Right, so I'm sick of talking about gay stuff now; I'm going to take a shower. Maybe it'll drown out the sound of this song in my head..."Ken...you're breaking my heart, you're shaking my confidence, Ken..." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

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