1:03 a.m. - 2003-01-14
Don't even try to understand...
SOMETIMES I FEEL I'VE GOT TO (BOOM, BOOM) RUN AWAY, I'VE GOT TO (BOOM, BOOM) GET AWAY FROM THE PAIN YOU DRIVE INTO THE HEART OF ME...

When I am queen, I will insist with PERFECT SCARS UPON MY WRISTS, that EVERYTHING YOU ONCE HELD DEAR IS TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU...

I'm not afraid of standing still, I'm just afraid of being BORED. I'm not afraid of speaking my mind; I'm just afraid of being IGNORED. I'm not afraid of feeling, and I'm not afraid of trying; I'm just afraid of LOSING, and I am afraid of dying....I'm not afraid of being sick, I'm MORE AFRAID OF BEING WELL. I'm not afraid, put the gun in my hand...I'm just afraid of FORGETTING...I'm not afraid of looking ugly; I couldn't care what they say. I'm not afraid of happy endings; I'm just afraid MY LIFE WON'T WORK THAT WAY...

Watch me fault her; you're living like a disaster. She said KILL ME FASTER with STRAWBERRY GASHES all over...."it's wonderful, wonderful here"..."some things you lose and some things you just give away"...watch me LOSE her; it's almost like LOSING MYSELF. Give her my soul, and let them take somebody else; get away from me...

The apple falls far from the tree, she's ROTTEN and so beautiful...she's EMPTY and so beautiful...

What if I was all right? What if I wasn't wound so tight?...WHY CAN'T I BE SOMEBODY ELSE? Somebody who isn't too cool to believe it's okay to be just me...WHAT IF I CAN'T REMEMBER WHO I'M TRYING TO BE?...

Wish I was too dead to cry...you don't need to bother; I don't need to be. I keep slipping farther, but once I hold on, I won't let go 'till it bleeds. Wish I was too dead to care, if indeed I cared at all....wished I'd died instead of lived; a zombie hides my face. Shelf forgotten with it's memories, DIARIES LEFT WITH CRYPTIC ENTRIES...

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