3:16 a.m. - 2003-11-17
Celebrexion
If you were a dog's favorite squeaky toy, the one that the dog played with all the time, but was stuck somewhere in the "too far too reach without the aid of one of the TwoLegs and that giant stick with the dead bush growing out of one end that I'm not allowed to pee on", and the dog started spending all his time squeaking up another chew toy, would you have a right to be angry?

I spent this weekend not spending money while buying things with my wife and her husband 'cause even married people need free sex sometimes. Then we ran into Santa, who gave me further reason to believe he eats the reindeer after Christmas is over. That's why his voice is so low and husky. Next week, my wife and I have a date; we're gonna go watch "Erotica", which, amazingly enough, has absolutely nothing to do with Madonna's new line of toys. Now, what did I do with that fancy feminine spray....?

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