12:38 p.m. - 2005-05-03
Home Remedies
HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.
Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat
and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to hold them
while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the
toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut
yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the
pressure in your arteries..

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,
will prevent you from rolling over and going back to
sleep when you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then
you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a
hammer, then you will forget about the tooth ache.

AND..... Sometimes we just need to remember what The
Rules of Life really are:

A. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If
it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it
moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.

B. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

C. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You
have another chance!

D. And finally... Be really good to your family and friends. You
never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

"Thought for the Day: Our days are happier when we
give people a bit of our heart rather than a piece of our mind".

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