7:46 p.m. - 2002-09-25
Poetry of a Skitzofreniak
Roses are red, violets are blue; I am sweet, and so am I. Hi. This morning, Iris Allegra woke me up crying; I discovered she is an anti-abortion activist after she stole my pin, which isn't surprising, since she IS a baby, after all; I let her keep it, anyway. So she was all sad and stuff 'cause she misses her father, so I beat her around her head a few times so that she would feel like he was here. Eating salad with a spoon is surprisingly not as difficult as one would think, believe it or not. Past point to ponder: in order to keep an accurate body count of the dead, some Egyptian soldiers brought their phaoroah the, uh...male genitalia of the fallen warriors...now THAT has interesting possibilities. Today, the Undead Hedgehog pointed out that if you scramble the letters, change a few of them, and add an "n", "Sheila" spells "lesbian". You see, Sheila was the Queen of the Amazons who lived on the Island of Lesbos. The Amazons HATED men, but in order to continue their line, they were forced to kidnap a few from the neighboring villages and have their way with them. They would get pregnant and have babies, and if the babies were boys, Queen Sheila would paint them in cermonial blue paint and have them thrown into the volcano, Lizzylezzy Lie. Which is where Wonder Woman and her great sidekick, Astral Wind Warrioress lived, until they had a great quarrel and Wonder Woman changed the Wind Warrioress's equipment...which is why she is now known as the Undead Hedgehog. The end.

In further news, Mary Bunny was sick of being a halfling, and in a maniacal attempt to alter herself in order to belong to some race, she threw a television set onto her leg. The plan was to shorten herself to Smurf status, being that she was too tall to be initiated completely into their clan and she had no way of elongating herself. Unfortunately, her sister, Princess Meow Meow, was under the assumption that Mary Bunny was in danger...(she had just got her fix of spee----uh, I mean ritalin, and was in something of a daze) and SWOOPED to the rescue....thus, our Mary must continue to resume her life as a mere halfling. On a brighter note, the t.v. is fine.

And in order to commemorate the fact that I am the type of girl idiot males wish to marry, not date, I got a purity ring. Wa-hoo. It's nice, though; I bought it off the jewelry pusher that visits regularly to feed off the disillusioned ideas of the multitudes, among which I am a minority, for I am capable of going from point A to point Q without either d) sucking on a cancer stick or p) running my mouth to some person that is more than likely in the same building as I am. Honestly, why doesn't some genius fix it so that you can communicate to people THROUGH your cigarrettes? It'd save on a lot of high-pitched noise pollution. I think that the cause of all this idiocity is some sort of complex most breast-fed college students go through; apparantly, they all develop an oral fixation upon leaving home...well, except for Barbie, who would like to be called Ken, being that he feels it is more masculine...he has yet to leave the nest, so I don't know why he always feels the need to have some sort of object in his mouth, but I have my theories.

What rolls down stairs, alone or in pairs, rolls over your neighbor's dog? What's great for a snack, and fits on your back; it's LOG, LOG, LOG!! It's Lo-og, it's Lo-og; it's big, it's heavy, it's wood! It's Lo-og, it's Lo-og, it's better than bad; it's good!!!

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