10:50 p.m. - 2002-12-11
My Masterpiece
My hopes for this year's New Year's Party

to the tune of "Grandma got Run Over by a Reindeer"

Casey got run over by a semi

walking, like a numb nut, in the road.

I'd have paid good money to have heard him,

squishing on the street like a fat toad.

He was pretty far from sober,

so we kicked him out the door.

And he went stumbling towards the corner

Hoping to pick up some newly-planted whore.

Though the truck failed to kill him,

he never stood a chance

when Kim's dogs began to shred him,

starting with the crotch of his pants.

**chorus**

Now we're getting kinda sleepy,

so we sack out on Kim's bed,

and we stare up at the lightbulbs

that exactly match the glare on Casey's head.

All my friends have told our neighbors

Not to worry 'bout themselves.

After all, the world's much better

when it's missing rabid goats that play with elves.

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