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6:16 p.m. - 2003-10-26 A Troll with an incorrigible appetitite for pumpkin-flavored slurpies sucked up my imagination with a giant green straw. Later tonight, I plan to rub my entire body with essence of cucumber; too bad that real cucumbers don't smell nearly as nice. Certain chords and sounds of music evoke tremors...I can't stand this. Originally, this diary was intended mostly to amuse and provide an outlet for whatever random meanderings that my mind happened to choose to take that particular moment...somewhere along the line, it became kind of an outhouse for all the negativity that occasionally (most of the time) seems to posess me, and this makes me sad. The negativity itself makes me sad. So many times, I simply feel empty, like all of the things that make me who I am are wilting away like flowers in a snowstorm ("Nothing lasts forever, and we both know hearts can change, and it's hard to hold a candle in the cold November rain"). I have finally diagnosed the problem as the irrevocable case of me apparently being forced into growing up...I don't want to grow up. I don't want to be anything more than what I've always been, even if I don't exactly know what that is. "There's just too much that time cannot erase..."
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