11:14 a.m. - 2004-02-09
The Probability of a Great Teacher Equals the Statistical Inference of Flour and Water
I woke up at 7:45 this morning specifically to finish a paper on Al Sharpton. And by "getting up", I do not just mean I crawled out of bed and pimp-slapped my alarm clock, for a change. (I had a testosterone-challenged manic squirrel write a death threat and leave it on my pillow in order to make staying awake appear more agreeable; the prospect of being scrubbed to death by a battery-powered toothbrush is not, after all, something one would willingly go to sleep over.) Afterwards, Al Sharpton smoked a ciggarette and I fell into a lake where all the swans were whistling Claire de Lune; consequently, I was forced to lie to my boss about having the plague (which I may actually have contracted from the putrescense evaporating out of those feet over there) and have yet to turn in said paper.

It's going to be a great day. :-)

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